In November 2011 I embarked on an exciting new project with Leah Stickley aka The Onion Peeler. The objective of the project: To record from a coaching perspective Leah’s experience of “repatriating” to the UK after over twenty years of living abroad, first living in France and then latterly China, where she lived for thirteen years, eleven of which were in Shanghai.

The repatriation experience in Leah’s words:

Repatriation matters. Reverse culture shock is a shock because we don’t expect it – we’re going home right? That’s partly true. We’re moving to the country where we were born or last lived or consider ‘home’. But we’re not moving back to the same circumstances which we left. You’ve changed, I’ve changed, others have changed and that’s the unexpected shocker. There are strategies to smooth the transition and manage the ups and downs. Coaching with a professional and experienced coach helps identify those strategies and structures that enable you to repatriate successfully.

Leah’s decision to return to the UK was born out of many factors and as she worked through her decision making process and began the process of packing up so she recorded her experience through her blog, which makes for great entertaining and insightful reading. (Leah also has a blog series about repatriation in the Shanghai Talk Magazine.)

Part of Leah’s coaching agreement with me was that I would also blog – about my experience of coaching her! Not so much recording the intricate details of her personal experience but more the broad themes that materialised from our discussions. My blogs are a series of reflections, insights and ideas about the repatriation experience, insights and ideas from a coaching perspective that I hope will be of help to many others as they too repatriate home.

Leah is a fully qualified coach herself and was therefore aware of the support that a coaching relationship could provide.

An Overview of Our Agreed Method of Working Together:

As a coach my role is support my clients to find their way and create the future that they desire. I encourage clients to develop their personal awareness and understanding of their values, purpose and personal agency. My commitment to Leah is to support her as she creates her life “back home”. I encourage her to look towards the future and work to identify what she wants to be, have and achieve in life and to then identify how she can best work towards achieving those goals in a personally authentic manner, all the while enjoying a happy and fulfilled life along the way – of course! 

The basic elements of our coaching relationship are:

• To hold regular telephone coaching sessions with Leah. Face to face meetings are not possible. Instead we communicate through skype telephone calls, email and an online coaching platform where Leah can access coaching questions and respond inbetween our regular coaching sessions.
• Work from a model of coaching which is client-centred. Leah chooses the subject of each coaching session and I follow that lead. Leah identifies and with my support crafts a goal for each coaching session and we then work towards creating an action orientated outcome that will move her forward in a positive, constructive and solution focused way.
• Offer advice and support when invited to do so. As a coach who works with expatriates and who is also an expatriate and one time repatriate, I am able to offer insights and suggest possible ways forward. I offer these to Leah and she chooses how to use them.
• I challenge Leah to be her best self: Human nature means that we often prefer to take the easy route. We duck out of challenging situations often due to fear of failure. This is a sentiment that is rarely linked to reality. The truth is that when an opportunity presents itself we are usually ready and able to step into it – if only we would believe and trust in ourselves. My role is to spot when Leah is holding back and challenge her to step up and out, to borrow a famous book title – “To Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” (Dr Susan Jeffers).
• Write blog posts after our coaching sessions from my perspective as the coach. As I listen to Leah and think about her experiences so ideas and insights surface and I share these in my blogs. I also share suggestions of approach which may be helpful to Leah and any other person who is in the process of moving home.
• Respect the confidential nature of our conversations. Leah reveals much about herself and her personal perspectives in her blog. I link to these experiences in my blog as she has made them public. All the blog posts that I write are read and pre-agreed with Leah. In this way I protect the parts of our relationship and discussions that she wishes to keep confidential. Client confidentiality is a fundamental element of any coaching relationship and one that I am rigorous in protecting with all my clients. It is important as a coach to say that Leah initiated this relationship with me and invited me to create the blogs.

So, I invite you to follow Leah’s story. Read Leah’ blogs and then link back to my responses OR Start by reading these blogs which link you to the relevant blog posts from Leah. Please share your reactions, comments and personal repatriation experiences below.